Jasmine Birtles
Your money-making expert. Financial journalist, TV and radio personality.
Finding a job in the current climate can be tough, but getting your hands dirty might help. Here’s a list of dirty ways to make money if you don’t mind getting a bit messy.
Minds out of the gutter please – although cleaning gutters might be a good starting point!
Animals are great – but also messy! Here’s how to make money with the mucky jobs related to animals.
The main jobs for a dairy farmer are milking cows, clearing excrement and barn maintenance. Working in unhygienic environments and extreme conditions often make this job unpleasant. You also need to like early mornings to get by as a dairy farmer – days can start as early as 4am!
This is one for horse lovers, as you’ll be required to work early mornings, evenings and weekends, looking after horses.
Groomers will have to muck out stables, groom the horses and clean tacks, among other responsibilities.
You’ll only be paid between £10,000 and £16,000 a year, but you may also be given accommodation, food, and riding lessons as part of the package.
If you love baby animals, this could be the job for you. Essentially, you help deliver lambs as they’re born. The hours can be long and it can get very cold, but you will be rewarded with cuddles from the lambs. You’ll need to be on call throughout lambing season – you never know when they decide to arrive!
Beware though, the pay isn’t always great, as a lot of the jobs are taken by students looking to gain experience for their veterinary degrees.
While most of us may think veterinary surgeons spend their days cuddling cute puppies, the reality is quite different. They regularly get covered in all kinds of animal waste and mud always makes an appearance when they have to venture onto farms.
A veterinary degree takes 5 years, so it may not be the quickest way to start making money. But, it’s a great career option for animal lovers.
This is a career a lot of us were introduced to via TikTok this year. We were mesmerised by videos of pool transformations – turning green, rotting pits into sparkling pools, we want to jump straight in. One account has even amassed 3 million followers.
But it’s dirty work cleaning the pools and the cleaners are often required to wade in waste deep to tackle the most stubborn stains. Job adverts suggest you can earn about £10 an hour as a pool cleaner.
Pest control removal specialists enjoy a messy job that requires dealing with pesky insects, reptiles and smelly pests.
These specialists must operate with extreme caution because their jobs involve setting traps, spraying chemicals, using poisonous substances in uncomfortable spaces such as attics, barns and farms.
Whether it’s people’s houses, schools, venues or offices, there’s always work for cleaners. But, it can be very dirty work and you may have to clean up some unpleasant messes.
You can expect to earn between £10 and £15 an hour as a cleaner.
Crime scene cleaners are routinely called in to deal with the sorts of messes the rest of us don’t even want to think about.
While it may seem as simple as arriving with a mop and bucket to scrub away a few unsightly stains, the job is actually incredibly technical, requiring skills as diverse as the safe removal of bio-hazardous material, assisting in trauma counselling of survivors/family members/witnesses and knowing the rules of police investigations inside out.
If blood, guts, awful smells and being on call at unexpected hours doesn’t scare you, this might just be for you. Salaries range from £26,000 to £60,000 a year.
Roadkill is a serious problem and happens far more often that we would like to admit. The reason that it’s not more visible is because it’s someone’s job to clear up the carcasses.
Roadkill collectors find, remove and dispose of the motorway’s unlucky victims and provide a service to the more squeamish among us. They have to enjoy driving as they spend the majority of their days combing roads for collisions.
While some cleaners are paid per hour they work, others are paid per animal removed.
These workers will clean up your garden. They will also sanitise and deodorise the area where pets have been making a mess. If you love dogs and you like getting down and dirty with nature, then this could be the job for you.
Dog poop is a breeding ground for nasty diseases such as Salmonellosis, and is also a nightmare to clean off the carpet. It is one of those services that will never go out of business.
As reported by the Express in 2014, setting your own prices can pay off. Tim Stone, 54, managed to earn an incredible £56,000 a year by charging £28 per month for four visits!
We create a LOT of waste as humans, in a wide range of ways. Here’s how to make money from that!
Refuse collectors’ main responsibility is to collect residential and business refuse and recycling. But, you may also be required to work at a waste recycling centre and operate waste compactors.
The National Careers Service warns: ‘Your working environment may be dirty, physically demanding and outdoors in all weathers.’
While starting salaries are low – around £15,000 a year – more experienced refuse workers can earn in excess of £30,000 each year.
Though most sewerage is cleaned using pumps, the process still can be an unpleasant experience for sewage inspectors. Discarded products and even tree roots can cause clogging, and the result could be backed up raw sewage.
From large corporate contracts to being a self-employed trader, maintenance work can be a mucky way to make money.
Everyone needs a plumber from time to time, so you’re unlikely to find yourself out of work once you’ve trained up.
It could get messy, though. You’ll be dealing with bathrooms, drainage systems and pipes.
In 2018, it was widely reported that one self-employed plumber was making £210,000 a year.
A dangerous and difficult job, which is done in an off track location in the world with oil raining on a successful day is not everyone’s cup of tea.
The job often requires 12-hour shifts and the ability to do heavy physical work in cramped spaces.
They are primarily responsible for repairing and cleaning septic tanks and sewer lines. This can involve repairing any leaks that have developed or patching a wall within the tank. Septic tank technicians will also need to install a new tank in some circumstances.
Salaries vary, but on average you’ll earn about £26,000.
The list doesn’t stop there!
Having to deal with digestive systems and associated problems, gastroenterologists often encounter obnoxious odours and human waste while examining their patients. They also must work with embarrassing parts of the human body.
You will need a medical degree for this one though, so it’s not for everyone!
Health and safety inspectors ensure employers comply with all aspects of health and safety laws, and that workplaces are not the cause of ill health, injury or death.
They do this by inspecting business premises, advising employers and investigating accidents, and through enforcement of the law. You will also have to inspect machinery, management systems, working methods, and the use and storage of dangerous substances.
Starting salaries for trainee inspectors begin at £26,500.
Coal excavations are messy and black and highly hazardous to the lungs. Considered among the most dangerous jobs in the world, coal mining requires working in claustrophobic dark spaces, deep down tunnels and under hot and humid conditions.
Often the job requires dealing with harmful cleaning chemicals and possible infections that are carried by the dead body. Embalmers regularly come in contact with body fluids, blood and possibly infectious diseases. Embalmers prepare the body neatly to make it look presentable for funeral services and to meet legal requirements.