CLARIFICATION the ‘net has gone to hell, not MIA!

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That’s often the case, in one form or another.

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Tom, I don’t think we misunderstand each other; I just think we think differently. Which is really no big deal.

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It seems obvious that there have been a number of misunderstandings here, and I must apologize for not having made myself more clear.

1. There may be no greater fan of Lao Tzu’s out there than me.

To the extent that he

Lao Tzu may have said/written/suggested that we do indeed think for ourselves, not fall into the trap of “I think I am who I think you think I am,” rather than offering any resistance to them and so allowing them to hurt us, let any attempted or perceived slights and insults not merely to pass harmlessly through us, but to know that, as we do so, we transmute them to Consciousness, to Light; that we “take insults as compliments-from-those-who-know-no-better;” that, by loving our enemies, we can manage to have none; that by “denying our [ego-]self” we can become utterly immune not just to the disrespect, scorn, insults etc. of others, but even to all the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune;” and that we can learn never to give anyone permission to hurt us emotionally…

2. Many funny stories have been told about Angelo Giuseppi Roncalli, Pope John XXIII. Perhaps none of those stories is funnier than his sobriquet, “Il Papa Buono,” “The Good Pope?”

Angel or no, when he reportedly heard someone in a crowd, possibly seeing the new pope for the first time, exclaim something like “Mamma MIA: he is SO fat!”, whether stung or not, he reportedly responded with something like, “Well, after all, it is not a fashion show!”

Guiding someone on a tour of the Vatican, and asked how many people worked there, I think he reportedly responded to the effect “Same as elsewhere, I suppose – about half!”

What Angelo Giuseppe might have replied had one asked him what a Jesus of Nazareth, being given the same tour of the Vatican, might have asked, I can only guess. Perhaps he might have said that that was a question which tormented him day and night?

I believe he observed that courtesy is an outward sign of love, and signed letters,

“Via veritatis, via caritatis:” the way of truth is the way of love.

I doubt that, lying dying of stomach cancer, and asked by a visiting cardinal, potential candidate for the next papacy, if there was anything he could do for His Holiness, he quipped,

“Yeah: Could you please get your foot off my oxygen tube?”

But who knows?

2. Only, I suspect, if we can learn to love ourselves unconditionally (perhaps the hardest thing in the world?) and so to accept and to love others similarly, I believe, can we become immune to any shows of disrespect on their part…while yet caring deeply about what they think and feel and about how we may help them towards accepting and loving themselves unconditionally, also.

Contemporary coercive psychiatry, like judgmental religions, I believe, would have us judge ourselves and others harshly. By judging such institutions harshly, I believe I, myself, have done my bit to perpetuate rather than to ameliorate things. I thank you for making me so much more aware of this, Birdsong.

3. Were I to try and teach anyone anything, I hope I would be gratified to see their efforts exceed my own previous best. But, yes, Birdsong, I, too, believe that it can only be by thinking for themselves that students can go on not just to emulate but to far exceed the achievements of all those from whom they have learned: By standing on the shoulders of giants we can see beyond any horizons they knew.

I believe we can all exceed the insights of the likes of da Vinci, of Saul/Paul, of Jesus and of Joan of Arc and others not by being one bit better than them, but by building the self-confidence to dare TO think for ourselves and SO to go beyond where they left off

And, after all, WE have the Internet, and so many of their quotes at our fingertips; they did not.

I love to believe that Albert Einstein protested that it wasn’t that he was so smart so much as that he stayed with the problem/s longer…and that Thomas Szasz pointed out that “Clear thinking requires courage rather than intelligence.”

We persevere, Birdsong, and we progress and, even if as Seamus Heaney wrote “But nothing here’s eternal,” I hope that all we think and say and understand and pray and do here does echo and does matter in all eternities.

And, accordingly, I thank you once again from my heart and from my soul, not least for persevering as you do, despite all temporary misunderstandings.

Wishing you joy,

Tom.

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I don’t care who said it, it makes a lot of sense to me.

Not caring what other people think has nothing to do with a lack of love for others; it has everything to do with self-respect.

Should the student exceed the master? No. Students should learn to think for themselves.

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I never want to upset anybody – I mean, until I get so upset that I do, of course. I could always be kind, but I fail.

I find it a constant source of inspiration to believe that Jesus, despite and because of all his great gifts, reportedly repeatedly got upset, too…and to try and trust that anything he could do, we all can do…better, if we want to, enough.

The student SHOULD exceed the master – don’t you think?!

I dare to persist with such thoughts at MIA’s expense because I believe it crucial we tackle such fundamentals.

I believe I live in a society still dominated by a flawed hegemony which holds up false “Christian” or Judeo-Pauline ideals which set us up for failure – or, at least, to regard ourselves and therefore one another as failures.

I believe that, like Ali, we are ALL The Greatest, and, like Ali, I guess I am saying so even before I KNOW it is true!

Do you know what “The Good Pope” said, Birdsong?

MANY THANKS!

Tom.

I prefer Gandhi’s suggestion that no one can hurt me without my permission.

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CLARIFICATION: Saying that something is “an inevitable part of being human” does not excuse certain behaviors.

And while many things are ambiguous, citing ‘nuance’ has become the coward’s way out.

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Thank you once more.

I have been reading all your comments with great interest and relish.

I feared you might fear I may have been trying to lecture you in courtesy and, on reading your response to that effect, was about to rush to reply to reassure you…when I remembered The Funnest Thing in the World – that prayers work, like, instantaneously. And so I prayed you’d figure out that I wasn’t QUITE that discourteous – yet.

Reminds me of some of the funnier parts of the canonical gospels.

Like when Jesus supposedly told ’em “Love one another as I have loved you.”

What, like buking and rebuking them – right to the end?

Or like when he had to be reminded of his manners – and to feed the starving 5,000 guests – “not countin’ women ‘n’ children”?

Or like when he told his mom No, he was not about to turn water into wine?

Or like when he cursed that poor, harmless fig tree?

Or like when he bade an accomplice to go pinch an ass for him, or to “borrow” a colt and, if challenged by the owner, to say that his master needed it?

Or like when he dismissed that Canaanite woman’s appeals for help, calling her a female dog?

Or like when he sent that herd of swine flying to their deaths by plunging into the sea, and then, presumably, failed to pay compo?

Or like when he, even following his resurrection, when you’d kind of think he might have left the ego aside a while, he reportedly once more rebuked ’em for their hardness of heart/unbelief?

I dunno, Birdsong, about you, but I felt rather flattered when the Dalai Lama told me/us that I/we should be kind whenever I/we could be…and that I/we could ALWAYS be kind: I felt he thought could do just what Jesus reportedly exhorted me/us to do – such things as he had done, “AND GREATER, TOO”!

So no offense, but I was not actually telling you or hinting to you that you can always be kind (but I do know you can).

All my love, and many thanks, and hoping you felt my prayers, comrade, and ALWAYS will,

Tom.

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Which is something that should alarm EVERYONE.

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More thoughts on the power of ‘no’ from, of all places, Psychology Today:

“The ‘No’ that is an affirmation of self implicitly acknowledges personal responsibility. It says that while each of us interacts with others, and loves, respects, and values those relationships, we do not and cannot allow ourselves to be influenced by them. The strength we draw from saying ‘No’ is that it underscores this hard truth of maturity: The buck stops here.”

“‘No’ is both the tool and the barrier by which we establish and maintain the distinct perimeter of the self. ‘No’ says, “This is who I am; this is what I value; this is what I will and will not do; this is how I will choose to act.” We love others, give to others, cooperate with others, and please others, but we are, always and at the core, distinct and separate selves. We need ‘No’ to carve and support that space.” ~ Judith Sills, Ph.D.

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And Tom, in case you’ve never heard of the power of no, may I courteously suggest you look into it below?

“Power of ‘No’: Rethinking the ‘Yes-Person’ Attitude For Career Success”, on Forbes.com

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Tom, the way you mention things like common courtesy, common humanity and common consciousness has me wondering if by chance you’re trying in some roundabout way to lecture me in things like common courtesy, common humanity, or common consciousness.

And if this IS what you’re trying to do, please let me assure you that you’re wasting your time, as at this point in my life I no longer see value in adopting a manner of expressing myself in a way you or others might find more pleasing.

In other words, I no longer find value in being obsequious, to anyone for any reason, as I’ve long since learned it’s not my job to fulfill anyone’s conversational fantasies, psychiatric or otherwise.

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…and non-action has led me to discover that simply being outside in the fresh air is far more uplifting and stress-relieving than anything else.

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And I also agree that most people have yet to discover the power (and magic) of non-action, of not automatically thinking they need to ‘do something’, as in ‘consult a professional’, simply for experiencing the full range of human emotion, which, after all, is what makes us human.

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I think I agree with you, Tom.

I also think the whole world needs to dump psychiatry’s depraved ‘disease model’, a paradigm I believe responsible for maintaining, and perhaps on some unseen level, responsible for causing much of the strife the world is in today.

And in so dumping psychiatry’s maligned disease model, the world might experience a resurgence, or perhaps even a never-before-seen unfolding of humanity at its best, rather than the psychiatrized-eugenicized world we live in today, which I think beyond a shadow of a doubt is the collective embodiment of humanity at its worst.

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….and then?

I mean, many thanks, Birdsong, first of all!

And might you agree that right there may lie a hint and The Solution?!

As we rush headlong to getting to the solution)s, the point, the end, the goal, is the very problem maybe not precisely THAT?

AS we rush, in our haste to make things better, we lose sight of the fact that if our worlds are not unfolding as they ought to do – right here, right now, I mean – why ought we expect them EVER to do so?!

And, as I have demonstrated above, and not just in this but probably in my every single comment to MIA, in our headlong rush, do we not necessarily tend to neglect not only common courtesies, but to forget our common humanity, and our common consciousness – and lack of it?!

HEARTfelt thanks, once more!

Tom.

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Tom, I suggest people start by giving ‘therapy’ a wide berth and stop using psychobabble.

Worked wonders for me.

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Birdsong, I wholeheartedly agree with you that “sinfulness” and “mental illness” are both erroneous ways of looking at the problem of human suffering.

I suggest we offer the world a more truthful and so more helpful way of viewing suffering.

Do you agree, please?

Best wishes.

Tom.

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