From The Onion: “Shedding new light on how the popular medication repairs a chemical brain imbalance, psychiatrists at Melrose Wakefield Hospital released a study Monday touting the effectiveness of SSRIs to cause enough other problems that it completely takes a patientās mind off their depression. ‘In a double-blind study where we mapped images of the participantsā brains, we saw almost 100% of those given SSRIs over a placebo become too preoccupied by the sudden onslaught of excruciating side effects to feel depressed anymore,’ said psychiatry chair Dr. Damien Wilson, crediting the dramatic weight gain, dangerously high cholesterol, and chronic diarrhea with making their previous experience of lifelong clinical depression seem far preferable by comparison.”
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